How do you get over finding out everything you thought you knew about someone was a lie?
I was in an online relationship with a girl for nearly three years. (I know, I know, it was stupid, I shouldn’t have put my faith into an online relationship and someone I never met. Lesson learned. Let’s move past that) She came into my life right when I really needed someone to talk to. We got along great. She helped talk me through my problems and I talked her through hers. I clearly remember the night she told me she loved me for the first time. I remember how my heart pounded against my ribs as I returned my love to her. We talked either by chat, text, email, or phone every single day. Sometimes for most of the day. We did all of the things distant lovers do; exchanged letters, cards, and pictures. We discussed everything imaginable, from food to our wedding, to the number of children we wanted to have together.
I gave up and changed great number of things in my life for her. I bought gifts for her every chance I got and saved them aside for the day we would meet. I even bought her an engagement ring. I did everything in my power to make her happy. She had such an infectious laugh. She could brighten my day with just a giggle. I loved everything about her. I loved her more and felt more connected to her than I ever did with anyone. She became my entire world. My reason for being. My inspiration, and the one who kept me from sliding back into depression. I would have done anything and given anything for her. And as it turns out, I did give up everything…but that’s a story for another time.
Well I found out that just about everything about her was a lie. She’s real. The pictures of her are indeed real, but everything else turned out to be a lie. Including her real name. See, for three years, I was given the impression that her name was Desiree. Turns out her real name is Bianca. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Now I don’t know what to believe anymore. The relationship is over, but I’m left with a thousand questions. My life is ruined and I feel like the last three years of my life was one big long string of lies. I look around at what I gave up and it makes me cry. I’m all alone now. I have no one to talk to. I have nothing to look forward to. Just a head full of tainted memories and the pain of knowing I was taken advantage of. I’m depressed more than I’ve ever been before in my life and I’m seriously thinking of taking my own life just to make the anguish stop. I don’t know what else to do now. I’m not a spiritual person at all, and I’ve distanced myself from my friends over the years so I could spend more time with Desiree…or Bianca…whatever her name really is. She ruined my life with her lies. I believed her. I believed in her. Now it’s all gone.
I’m so confused about everything. I don’t think I could ever trust anyone again. The pieces of my broken heart could easily pass through the eye of a needle. And the pain of it all is too much to bare. I can’t even think clearly at this point. The only thing that makes sense to me now is to die and just let it all be done.
Tagged with: cards • depression • email • engagement ring • entire world • faith • heart • infectious laugh • inspiration • love • relationship • ribs • single day • tip of the iceberg • yea
Filed under: Distant Learning Online
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Sigh. This is very and sad depressing, I must admit. But how can you possibly even consider taking your own life over someone YOU NEVER MET? Have you thought about your family? Your friends? And how devastated they would be if they lost you? Sure, trust me dude, LOVE SUCKS, but I mean you shouldn’t even stress it over someone you never even met! And the whole trust issue, yes, it’s a hard thing to understand but you have to believe in yourself! Have faith, you will overcome this painful experience. It really sucks to know she took advantage and manipulated you this way, and it sucks that there is actual people out there in the world that do this to others. But it’s ok! It’s hard, trust me, I know how excrutiatingly hard this is for you right now, but you will get over it! Things in this life happen for a reason, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and if anything, it should come as a blessing and as a relief to you that the truth finally came out. I could have only imagined how badly it could have ended up if you two were to have met and if anything had pursued from there. I’ve gone through this as you have, this depression, this loss of self, this loss of sense, of who you are, what you are, and how everything and everyone around you is doesn’t matter, how no one is who they really are, and why no one can understand you. I get you. You feel like a failure, a fool, you feel as if there is no other soul out there feeling the same pain you are, feeling the same shamefulness, the same loneliness, the same pathetic feeling you feel. Trust me, you aren’t alone. It took me a while to get through this, and I did it on my own. I wrote alot, spent some time alone, reflected on my thoughts and realized that I am worth so much more, that I have plenty to offer this crazy world of ours, that I will meet someone who is able to understand me one day, all I have to do is have faith. I believed in myself, and overcame it. You sound like a great guy. Don’t do anything foolish, your life is too precious, don’t you see it is worth so much more? Stay positive, and think positive. You’ll see the difference. Good Luck.
You don’t.
This is an online relationship, for all we know you were having a realtionship with a he/she or it…
Try meeting REAL PEOPLE……. for a change…….
well 2 be frank man pick up the pieces u got hurt but dont kill urself ovr it it will only make mattrs worse u need 2 begin 2 get ovr her reconnect with friends they r da ones u should have shared with in the first place nd above all remember do not give ur heart out 2 easily it only makes it worse when some1 doesnt take good care of it i say u made a mistake that many have made seriously it will be okay nd three years of damage can be repaired ur heart will heal faster i promise i have a feelin u didnt love her like u thought u did think about it k?
I’m sorry, that really sucks!
The only thing you can do is try and find someone new. If you are cool with online relationships and you don’t really like going out to meet people you should try one of those websites. Even if you met her that way, it doesn’t mean that everyone on the internet lies. You could have met her in a bar and she could have lied to you for 3 years. It’s not where you meet them, but who you meet. There are a lot of honest people that are on those dating websites. You could find someone that lives in the area with you and maybe spend more time getting to know each other in person instead of over the internet.
good luck
Well, for starters, don’t kill yourself. That’s never a good solution. Coward’s way out.
Anyway, you’ve just got to tough it out now. I know things are bleak and you don’t know what to do, but look at the bright sides of things: you have a chance to get back into the "real world", or so to speak, and to be who you want to be. You’re at a loss, so reform your identity. Start by moving on from Bianca/Desiree/whatever and love yourself again. Just be someone you’re happy being, get out into the world again, and start rebuilding.
When you hit the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up, right? Things are never as bad as they seem.
wow what a story, welcome to the real world, life is what you make it, look at the good side of it #1 you learned a great lesson #2 the people who read your story learned from your heartbreak #3 you can still choose your attitude, choose life, you are not defeated yet, meet real people at church or other social gatherings, join a singles group, you will be much happier if you reach out and make some real friends, there are many support groups out there, just don’t get so overwhelmed by your disappointment
dont take your life, thats stupid. okay, first thing. dont pity yourself and just move forward. and NEVER get into a relationship you cant be sure of. has she changed your life for the better in ANY way? if she has, good. maybe that was all she was meant to do. and once that job is done. you guys will be done. its not all flowers and butterflies but maybe thats just the way it had to be. maybe this is your chance to turn to God.
look shit happens water is wet the sky is blue who gives a shit life goes on. what this girl did to you you is show you hope even though she is a lieing kniving back stabbing identity stealing two balled bitch with one hairy nipple did to you. lookk at the bright side if you kill yourself you will burn in hell forever and you can continue the anguish forever you dont have to see to believe,you have to believe to see you think that your the only guy that this has happed to give me a break dude taking your life does what, it causes more pain more suffering its not the answer, i have gone through alot of shit in life and the more shit i go through the more i wipe my ass i do the best i can i dont give up beacuse of a road block i go around i blow it up but i always find another way you will to i dont have all the answers and im not qualified to even answer this but i tried god bless you.theres a road with three diffrnent paths its called a cross roads evryone of them lead you to your future but dont forget your past or you are doomed to repeat it another words learn from your mistakes and it does not matter witch road you pick they all lead somewhere take care i hpoe i helped