It has been 11 yrs that I have been in depression, I am 25 now. I have been living in a hope that ‘One Day’ I will get better. That ‘One Day’ never came but each year my situation got even worse. Yes there are some external/superficial/materialistic factors which makes me depressed but then I think that even if I correct them will I be happy? Of course, no. I have been shy and lonely all my life since childhood. From childhood I have been told by my parents, friends, teachers, everyone that its a flaw. I spent most of the time with myself. I craved for love, recognition and positive comments but never got any, never. I never had any relationship, never kissed a girl, never even hugged anyone including my parents. To make the matters worst I am really an honest guy with an altruistic nature. I always put others welfare before mine. But I learned that it is not a desired characteristic in a human being. I am so tired of listening "He is a nice guy" and thats it. People have always come to me whenever they wanted help but never asked me otherwise. I sacrificed all my life for others but never got anything in return. I feel so unimportant just like someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up, who cares, it doesn’t matter. I realized that everyone is selfish and self-serving. I was the only fool to care about others. Neither funny, nor good looking, nor rich, and not even intelligent, why would anyone be interested in me? I met a German girl online (I live in Paris btw) who became a very good friend of mine. I gave her a hint about my situation and she always tries to motivate me. She wants to meet me but I am too afraid as firstly she will be appalled by my appearance and she will find out how pathetic I really am. Now I don’t trust people even if they say something nice about me. I feel like they are just pretending. During childhood I had imaginary friends and family. The problem is, I still have them. Whenever I felt lonely, mentally disturbed, depressed I used to turn to my imaginary family for love and consolation which i never got in real life. Every night I used to sleep thinking about them who never existed. The things have got so much worse that even in my dream world, problems have started to arise. I am afraid to sleep because I have ran out of pleasant thoughts. My mind is always occupied by negative thoughts and worst things happening to me. I have lost all hope in humanity. No matter what people say i don’t trust them anymore. I have become skeptical, cynical, paranoid and worst a misanthrope. I have so many diseases that i have lost the count, i have anger management problems, bipolar disorder which i aquired genetically from my father. I saw him suffer all his life, now its my turn, i know it, it will never end, like a black hole. I have voilent tendancies although i never harmed anyone physically but maybe I will reach that phase soon. I thought of having a counselling but then I dont have money to afford it and I am ’skeptical’ about whether it will really work or just a waste of time. Yes i know my problem is not the worst, I have seen people in worse situation than me but I am not mature enough to learn from it. I feel helpless all the time. Its 2 AM in Paris and I have office tomorrow yet I don’t know why I took 1 hour to write this BS who nobody cares about. 3 yrs back i wrote the similar crap on yahoo and here I am again! Yes, I have suicidal tendencies. Anyways, who cares, I am expendable.

Technorati Tags: appearance, btw, depression, firstly, fool, friends and family, german girl, good friend, honest guy, imaginary friends, love, nice guy, parents friends, paris, relationship, welfare

I have been corresponding with this marriage counselor online for the past few months. His last subject, "How do you know when to Quit?" I read it and here was my response to him: I’m sorry to say it’s time to quit. There’s been infidelity, definitely broken trust; emotional neglect/abuse; The "brink of divorce" came in 2007, when he secretly went to see an attorney for legal advice. I found out because his dad paid for the "retainer fee" when my husband brought the remainder of the check home to give back to his dad. I am totally bored with this man. He is very stubborn and is "always right." He hides savings/money from me; limits me with the amount of money I can use in our "joint checking account"; we go through days of silent treatment; the sex was great (not anymore, babe), but I think he uses that as an assurance that everything is OK between us. There is definitely a communication problem in this household. We have three young adult daughters living with us. Two in college in the early 20’s; one still in high school, 17. They all agree there is a communication problem in this household, and who by the way they always side with him about everything, and as far as he concerned, "they never do anything wrong"; he doesn’t appreciate me, and refuses to go to marriage counselling "because nothing’s wrong with our marriage, it’s me". Here lately, all we do is yell at each other, in front of the kids, of course. He can’t seem to discuss anything with me in private. I have been home for 20 years plus raising my three daughters. I think he is miserable, too, but he won’t go see a lawyer because he "doesn’t want to give up any of "his" money". Hey, come one, doesn’t he know that half of his income, property, etc., is mine? In earlier years, my husband would cut me down, I would run upstairs to our bedroom, shut the door and cry. He has done this our whole marriage. He keeps money hidden from me, won’t let me have access to our savings acccount, either by papers statements or online. I am not to know anything about money. He as a 401k that he won’t share information about with me. We have an equity line of credit on our home and he says "I have no access to it and can not use it for anything should I need something". He put the thing in his name and his name only, even though I signed the Deed of Trust with the bank. No one at the banks we use will even discuss anything with me about any of the accounts that exist because "my name’s not on the account". He bought a 2004 Pontiac Grand Prix a year and a half ago. He won’t let me drive, it. He won’t even give me a key to it. Again, what’s his is mine. Right? He tells me to "Just go out and get a job." I want to pursue a paralegal career. I am a legal secretary and want to get a "good" job. (I may need it). He won’t support or pay for me taking any classes online to pursue a better career. He says my going back to work as a paralegal won’t start for me with a "bang." I am 48. I don’t look my age and don’t feel my age. He didn’t support me when my mother was ill with Alzheimers in 2001. He wasn’t there for me when she passed. All this had (in the past, I’m OK now) put me in a deep depression. So bad that I had to be hospitalized for two weeks last year, (had gotten down to 115 pounds), wouldn’t eat etc., received electro-compulsive therapy and medications. I now doing fine now, all off medications. While I was depressed, he would make "fun" of me. I remember pacing outside in the front yard. He would stop his yardwork and pace with me. Why didn’t he pick up on the signals of my depression? Why didn’t he call someone for help for me? I remember even asking him to "help me." Nothing. I was on so much medication that I can not remember years (seriously) of my life. Seven to be exact. I am now so angry with him, I want out. He won’t change and won’t go to counselling because "It’s my fault things are this way." I don’t have any money or anywhere I can go. What do I do?

Technorati Tags: adult daughters, amount of money, babe, brink, checking account, communication problem, emotional neglect, household, infidelity, joint checking, legal advice, marriage counselling, marriage counselor, quot, remainder, retainer fee, silent treatment, three daughters, yell, young adult

a little bit of background info…

him: 34, never completed high school, works under the table doing construction, but work is very sketchy. has openly admitted several times to have no drive or desire to do anything with his life and has said he sees it as pointless cause someone from my or his family will die eventually and we will get money then. also claims that if he does not drink every night then he is unable to sleep. often tells me and our children that we ruined his life and took away his freedom, has as little to do with the kids as possible…on the flip side tho, he’s extremely good mechanically and with fixing things, and will drop anything he’s doing if his friends need his help, no matter when it is or what for. so i know he’s capable of doing stuff.

me: 26, in school for financial advising (online courses, from a local college) stay at home mom, in charge of the children, their school stuff, the household, and currently seeking a part time day job. i’m a social drinker, drank on july 4th, at the halloween party, and new years, haven’t touched anything since then, nor do i desire to. i’m very goal driven, i set high expectations for myself and my family, and i want to see them met, or atleast a real effort to meet the goals. i’m also a bit short tempered at times, esp with my husband and often tell him to do something with his life or shut up about it already.

together: 9 years, married 8, with 3 daughters, ages: 7, 6, and 5

problem: his lack of ambition clashes with my desire to better my life. he’s talked many times about going back to school, getting a stable job with benefits, learning about computers and IT, and much more, but every time when it’s came down to it, he has so many excuses why he can’t or won’t try. and he recently (within the past few months) started telling me that despite what he says, he really has no drive to do any of it. of course i get mad, and tell him he’s being a deadbeat and that with 3 daughters to provide for he needs to do something with his life and quit his bs because he’s not getting any younger (neither am i) and we’ve got kids who depend on us. he tells me to hurry up and finish my degree cause once that happens he can stay at home and not have to worry about getting a job cause i’ll be making decent money. my reaction is, heck no, you better do your part, this is your family too, quit being a slacker, man up and do something. he tells me if i don’t like the way he chooses to be, there’s the door, get out or deal with it. being currently unemployed with no family in the area (both my parents are dead) i can’t just leave and walk out, esp with the kids, knowing that right now i can’t provide for them, and i sure would not just leave them with him either. a big part of me wants out! i know he’s not going to try and improve his life or get a real career, he’s proven that, and i’ve given him 9 years to show me that he will, and he never has even really made any effort to, and it’s driving me to my breaking point.

-i’ve suggested counseling, he refused saying that if i see any problems, then i must be the one with all the problems.
-i’ve offered to help him study as much as possible if he’d agree to at least get his ged, he said that’s just a waste of time and all a diploma does is prove your a certified idiot.
-he’s very interested in automotive, and i’ve suggested he get ase certified, of course that idea got shot down as well.
-says he’s trying to get partnered with youtube through google ads to make money that way, it seems like a major long shot in the dark to me for that to happen…

anyways, what does everyone think? i know i’m tempermental, i’ll admit that, but he is driving me insane with his lack of anything in life…no real job, no drive, no goals, no ambition, etc…(and this doesn’t even touch on the girls i’ve found him talking to on craigslist or the people he trashed me to behind my back calling me a witch (with a b) saying i try to tell him how to live, that i ruined all his happiness and freedom, etc… please…help?! advice?!

Technorati Tags: ambition, background info, clashes, daughters ages, day job, deadbeat, flip side, going back to school, halloween party, high expectations, learning about computers, local college, online courses from, school stuff, several times, social drinker, stable job, stay at home, stay at home mom, tho

I have spent the last 16 years in nursing. ( I originally went into nursing because I was unemployed and nobody would give me a job and I created a new career as a nurse for myself).

I have hated nursing, but have stuck with it because I have had two children to provide for and my wife has always worked part time. Now I have had enough.

I have lost my job as a nurse because I have fallen out with my employers. Because of something they have done – not me.

I don’t want to spend a single second working as a nurse again. I have worked in all kinds of nursing jobs. Medical wards, surgical wards, A &E, clinics , agency and bank etc

Now I feel like I am on the scrapheap at 38. I have just started to sign on and claim benefits but I just want to be happy and to have a happy job and career.

I have always wanted to write and that has always been my dream and I really hope to do that one day but it won’t pay the bills yet ! But I feel it is what I was born to do.

I do read the tarot cards and am thinking of trying my luck at doing it full time ( as a business) but don’t know if I can make enough money by doing that ? I do enjoy it. And I have made small amounts of money online by helping people with my readings.

I wouldn’t mind becoming a photographer but that seems a long way off and there doesn’t seem much chance of that making money. Considering I can’t even afford a flippin camera !
I wouldn’t mind becoming a freelance journalist for local papers but I’m not sure how I can go about getting stories and I have no journalism degrees etc.

Most of the jobs in the job centre are really poor pay compared to nursing and I am scared to death of being on the dole forever.

I am feeling pretty low one minute and optimistic the next.

I can’t affird to do any big courses to retrain. I have debts ( about £ 7000 ) and a degree is out of the question.

One option is just to spend the rest of my life being a journey man and doing different jobs for the rest of my life, no matter how crappy they sound. That way I will get lots of new skills and even variety. Maybe I would even find a job I like. I have worked as a nurse for so long , I really have no experience in doing anything else.

Please please if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Its christmas and I feel like my life has sunk like the titanic and at 38 I am not a young man or an old man.

Please help,

Paul

A brief background ( incase you are still reading)

I was bullied psychologically and physically at school from the age of 7 -15. I recieved no help or counselling and as a result I failed all my exams. Not for want of trying. I went to college and passed all the exams over 2 years and was all set for a career in law. Passed to Alevels and then met a girl. Got engaged and her family persuaded me to pack it in and get a job in a camping shop, which I hated. ( I was foolish, I should have told them to mind their own business. But foolishly I listened)

Then she lreft me for another guy and over the next months I lost my job, spent a while on the dole and then worked my way up in nursing.

And here I am all these years later.

I am sorry this question is so long and I really appreciate your time in reading it. But I just need some help and advice. I want to build my life up again.

Paul

Technorati Tags: amp, becoming a freelance journalist, becoming a photographer, debts, dole, enough money, full time, job centre, journalism degrees, journey man, local papers, making money, medical wards, nurse, nursing jobs, part time, rest of my life, scrapheap, surgical wards, tarot cards

My husband has had a porn addiction for a long time. He confessed it to me around a year ago and we talked a lot about solutions. I’m not ok with him looking at porn. I certainly don’t deny him and he claims that I am the sexiest woman in the world. I understand, though, that he has a problem so we talked about maybe trying new positions and stuff to make him more interested in sex between us instead of looking at other girls. I told him that I will be understanding when he messes up as long as he is honest with me and I don’t have to find out (because I always do at some point)
Friday night I checked on the email that he had been using to save naked pictures that he had of real girls (not porno models) He told me he would delete it and I warned him that eventually I would check to see if he kept his word. He didn’t and I also found several emails from dating sites that he had joined. I packed up clothes for me and our 6 month old daughter and called my mom. She came and got me and I didn’t talk to my husband until last night.
We chatted for a while online discussing what he had talked about with our friend (he called our friend who is a pastor and a counselor when he realized what I had left for. I’ve never taken off like that before) and what we were going to do.
I explained my feelings to him and asked him to explain his. We discussed that and we discussed solutions like we always have. This time, though, I’ve told him that he needs the help because I can’t stand to continually be deceived when I’ve been more than understanding about his problem. So he is staying with his mom for a while and I told him that he can come get our daughter any time he is off work and of course on the days that he has his other daughter so that they can see each other. I just don’t want him at the house. I told him that eventually I would join his counseling and we would work together to be a couple again, but for now I need space. I think that I will eventually start missing the good things about him and then I’ll join his counseling and we’ll start dating again. Hopefully by that time he has made enough progress that he can be honest with me and I’ll help to keep him accountable until he is (for the most part) over his addiction.
What do you think?
Well I’m not ok with porn at all! But I know that he has an addiction and no matter how well he beats it he will always be an addict who could regress at any time. Before we are back to where we used to be, though, I want him to be in a serious stage of "remission" if you know what I mean.
He is staying with his MOM! She has her computer in a public area and he will rarely be home enough to use it anyway! He works 2 jobs. If he still finds time to look at porn AND cheat then he’s pretty amazing, but we’re done.

Technorati Tags: clothes, counseling, counselor, dating sites, email, feelings, friday night, long time, messes, mom, porn addiction, porno models, real girls, sexiest woman in the world

For the past year and a half, my mom has been… drifting away. Lately she has been taking out her anger on me. It seems as though I am the problem for everthing. She just complains to me about how much she hates her job(she owns a business, stressfull I know), how I need to help out more. I have asked her what I can do to help, but she says oh nothing everything is in ship shape.

Yesterday we went to the mall, and I asked her if I could get a pair of jeans. She said sure. At the cash register, she said, well don’t just stand there pay for it! At that point, I was dumbfounded. She was making me pay for my own clothing. I know later in life I am going to have to, but I’m 11. I am too young to get a job. The only money I get is from reading. (<– a penny a page. it adds up). She doesn’t want to work out a plan for an allowance. She blew up at me in the car yesterday telling me, "well duh your supposed to pay for your own stuff! I know you have money!". I have dollars. I am saving up so I can order vans. Then she started telling me how people kids don’t earn money just to have it, they get it because they want something. Of course, I know that. I want vans, and she won’t buy them. I can get them online for . She says why not just go to the actual store and get them? I say because that would be wasting away that could be use for something better.

She also told me that she has gone to 3 counselers because of me. She was telling me she didn’t know what to do. Should she put me into counseling? Should she go back into therapy?(Yes, she had been in therapy before. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Ten times worse then PMS.) Then she told me that the most likely thing was to send me off to boarding school. I burst into tears. Boarding School? Not just would that make it worse, it would affect both her and I for the rest of my life. We wouldn’t get to see eachother, we would drift apart, she wouldn’t know at all what I was doing. I would be away from my friends. And my best friend. Boarding School just doesn’t seem the way to go.

So what should I do? I have tried to talk to her, but she never listens. She won’t admit to that though. I don’t know what to do anymore! I hate her more than I love her. She lives in the same house, so I have to deal with these problems. I have thought about suicide, I don’t have the guts to do it though. Is it me, or her? I just don’t know anymore. I’m confused, lost.

Technorati Tags: anger, bipolar, boarding school, cash register, counselers, counseling, everthing, job, lt, mom, money, pair of jeans, rest of my life, ship shape, vans

I can’t seem to find an answer for this. I would think this is one of the first questions asked. I’m looking to get a degree to become a social worker. DHS does not require a social work degree in it’s strick sense. A degree in Human Services, criminial justice. counseling, etc will land you a job. FL. Tech offers an Applied Psychology degree in Child Advocasy that appeals to me but the price per credit hour is high. Any advice?

Technorati Tags: advocasy, counseling, dhs, job, psychology degree, social work degree, social worker, strick

I have spent the last 16 years in nursing. ( I originally went into nursing because I was unemployed and nobody would give me a job and I created a new career as a nurse for myself).

I have hated nursing, but have stuck with it because I have had two children to provide for and my wife has always worked part time. Now I have had enough.

I have lost my job as a nurse because I have fallen out with my employers. Because of something they have done – not me.

I don’t want to spend a single second working as a nurse again. I have worked in all kinds of nursing jobs. Medical wards, surgical wards, A &E, clinics , agency and bank etc

Now I feel like I am on the scrapheap at 38. I have just started to sign on and claim benefits but I just want to be happy and to have a happy job and career.

I have always wanted to write and that has always been my dream and I really hope to do that one day but it won’t pay the bills yet ! But I feel it is what I was born to do.

I do read the tarot cards and am thinking of trying my luck at doing it full time ( as a business) but don’t know if I can make enough money by doing that ? I do enjoy it. And I have made small amounts of money online by helping people with my readings.

I wouldn’t mind becoming a photographer but that seems a long way off and there doesn’t seem much chance of that making money. Considering I can’t even afford a flippin camera !
I wouldn’t mind becoming a freelance journalist for local papers but I’m not sure how I can go about getting stories and I have no journalism degrees etc.

Most of the jobs in the job centre are really poor pay compared to nursing and I am scared to death of being on the dole forever.

I am feeling pretty low one minute and optimistic the next.

I can’t affird to do any big courses to retrain. I have debts ( about £ 7000 ) and a degree is out of the question.

One option is just to spend the rest of my life being a journey man and doing different jobs for the rest of my life, no matter how crappy they sound. That way I will get lots of new skills and even variety. Maybe I would even find a job I like. I have worked as a nurse for so long , I really have no experience in doing anything else.

Please please if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Its christmas and I feel like my life has sunk like the titanic and at 38 I am not a young man or an old man.

Please help,

Paul

A brief background ( incase you are still reading)

I was bullied psychologically and physically at school from the age of 7 -15. I recieved no help or counselling and as a result I failed all my exams. Not for want of trying. I went to college and passed all the exams over 2 years and was all set for a career in law. Passed to Alevels and then met a girl. Got engaged and her family persuaded me to pack it in and get a job in a camping shop, which I hated. ( I was foolish, I should have told them to mind their own business. But foolishly I listened)

Then she lreft me for another guy and over the next months I lost my job, spent a while on the dole and then worked my way up in nursing.

And here I am all these years later.

I am sorry this question is so long and I really appreciate your time in reading it. But I just need some help and advice. I want to build my life up again.

Paul
I have also been think of perhaps training somehow to be a counseller, that way I can do something positive to help other people. Instead of looking back at my childhood in anger. Not sure if this is easy though.

Technorati Tags: amp, becoming a freelance journalist, becoming a photographer, debts, dole, enough money, full time, job centre, journalism degrees, journey man, local papers, making money, medical wards, nurse, nursing jobs, part time, rest of my life, scrapheap, surgical wards, tarot cards

I have spent the last 16 years in nursing. ( I originally went into nursing because I was unemployed and nobody would give me a job and I created a new career as a nurse for myself).

I have hated nursing, but have stuck with it because I have had two children to provide for and my wife has always worked part time. Now I have had enough.

I have lost my job as a nurse because I have fallen out with my employers. Because of something they have done – not me.

I don’t want to spend a single second working as a nurse again. I have worked in all kinds of nursing jobs. Medical wards, surgical wards, A &E, clinics , agency and bank etc

Now I feel like I am on the scrapheap at 38. I have just started to sign on and claim benefits but I just want to be happy and to have a happy job and career.

I have always wanted to write and that has always been my dream and I really hope to do that one day but it won’t pay the bills yet ! But I feel it is what I was born to do.

I do read the tarot cards and am thinking of trying my luck at doing it full time ( as a business) but don’t know if I can make enough money by doing that ? I do enjoy it. And I have made small amounts of money online by helping people with my readings.

I wouldn’t mind becoming a photographer but that seems a long way off and there doesn’t seem much chance of that making money. Considering I can’t even afford a flippin camera !
I wouldn’t mind becoming a freelance journalist for local papers but I’m not sure how I can go about getting stories and I have no journalism degrees etc.

Most of the jobs in the job centre are really poor pay compared to nursing and I am scared to death of being on the dole forever.

I am feeling pretty low one minute and optimistic the next.

I can’t affird to do any big courses to retrain. I have debts ( about £ 7000 ) and a degree is out of the question.

One option is just to spend the rest of my life being a journey man and doing different jobs for the rest of my life, no matter how crappy they sound. That way I will get lots of new skills and even variety. Maybe I would even find a job I like. I have worked as a nurse for so long , I really have no experience in doing anything else.

Please please if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Its christmas and I feel like my life has sunk like the titanic and at 38 I am not a young man or an old man.

Please help,

Paul

A brief background ( incase you are still reading)

I was bullied psychologically and physically at school from the age of 7 -15. I recieved no help or counselling and as a result I failed all my exams. Not for want of trying. I went to college and passed all the exams over 2 years and was all set for a career in law. Passed to Alevels and then met a girl. Got engaged and her family persuaded me to pack it in and get a job in a camping shop, which I hated. ( I was foolish, I should have told them to mind their own business. But foolishly I listened)

Then she lreft me for another guy and over the next months I lost my job, spent a while on the dole and then worked my way up in nursing.

And here I am all these years later.

I am sorry this question is so long and I really appreciate your time in reading it. But I just need some help and advice. I want to build my life up again.

Paul
I have also been think of perhaps training somehow to be a counseller, that way I can do something positive to help other people. Instead of looking back at my childhood in anger. Not sure if this is easy though.

Technorati Tags: amp, becoming a freelance journalist, becoming a photographer, debts, dole, enough money, full time, job centre, journalism degrees, journey man, local papers, making money, medical wards, nurse, nursing jobs, part time, rest of my life, scrapheap, surgical wards, tarot cards

I started an online Masters degree in School Counseling when I was living overseas (I didnt know when I would come back to the US and I didnt want to waste time). The program is part of a brick and mortar school (it is not an online school). Well, I have finished ONE (1) year of the 2 1/2 year program and I came back to the US a few weeks ago. I came back because I applied to a University in my area to continue the Masters here in person. Well, I just found out that there were some glitches and not all of the credits will transfer. This means I will have to retake basically all of the courses and lose a year of study. Therefore, my options are

a) transfer to the University in person, BUT not finish until Summer 2012.
b) continue online, but finish in Summer 2011.

I liked the idea of meeting people and taking classes in person, but this means i have to repeat an entire year of grad study…Either way, I have a 6 month internship as part of the program, so I will meet people then. this decision has made me sick, what do you think?

Technorati Tags: brick and mortar, glitches, grad study, internship, masters degree in school counseling, meeting people, online masters degree

I’m a 41 yo woman who is looking for a career change. I briefly attended college back in the late 80’s (didn’t graduate) but I would like to go back to school to earn a degree in counseling but I have no clue where to start? I can’t go back full time (I work, and have 2 kids) so what is my best bet to get the ball rolling? Should I try online courses? Where can I find info about online schools that are reputable?

Technorati Tags: best bet, clue, counseling, full time, looking for a career

He’s been acting odd, closing windows on computer when I come into the room, deleting the history. Does he think I’m stupid and don’t notice the changes in his behavior? There have been several other occasions where I have caught him joining these sites. So I checked up on him and he has just paid for a membership for a local sex site. On his profile he stated that he is separated and looking for sexual relations or group sex. We’ve been having other problems and among the things we talked about he told me he wasn’t happy with our sex life. I’ve made an effort to improve my efforts in and out of the bedroom and even done things I’m not comfortable with to please him. We’ve been married for 9 years and have 5 young kids, so it’s not like I want to just walk away. But I’ve asked him to go to counseling. He didn’t give me a straight answer. He said he would go through a marriage course online with me. When I asked him if we could purchase it now, he told me that it wasn’t the best idea to spend money on THAT right now. So he says he’s willing to work on it, but seems to be giving a different message. I left him once before for different reasons and while we were separated I had a brief fling with someone. I know I screwed up, but does that mean its okay for him to be pursuing this online thing?

Technorati Tags: counseling, different reasons, fling, group sex, local sex, marriage, marriage course, money, occasions, sex life, sex site, sexual relations, straight answer, young kids

Hi…I have a B.A. in Psychology that I attained from Oral Roberts University in 2003. I have been working in the field of social services for the last 6 years. I do not want to further my education in anything related to social services (i.e. counseling, therapist, etc). I would like to pursue a Master’s in something under the umbrella of IT. I also am looking to go online for school as I work full time and I just don’t want to have to go to a traditional school if I don’t have to. I have done a semester online at ITT Tech a couple of years ago and enjoyed the online experience. I was working on an Associate’s in Computer Forensics. I actually am highly fascinated with this field so I would like to pursue it at the graduate level.

In the master’s arena, it is not usually called Computer Forensics however. I also am interested in learning how to program different applications on the computer. What program would encompass computer security AND computer programming (software engineering)?

I have been debating between a few online colleges: (1)Kaplan (which has a Master of Science in Information Technology with a concentration in Information Security and Assurance). (2)University of Phoenix has a Master of Information Systems. This one is kind of broad but does have courses in information security and computer programming. (3) Virginia College has a Master of Science in Cybersecurity. This one is very specific and no computer programming courses. (4) Keller Graduate School of Management has a Master of Information Systems Management with a concentration in Information Security. Lastly, (5) AIU has a Master of Information Technology with a concentration in Internet security. Now, these are just the colleges that I have researched and I have spoken with the academic advisors and am considering attending (I’ve actually researched a few more but for whatever reason, I eliminated them).

Out of the 5 online schools that I mentioned, are there any that you would personally not consider and why?? I have heard good stories and I have heard horror stories. All 5 of the schools I mentioned are accredited. Can you offer any other colleges or programs for that matter that may be a better fit that I can look into based off of the information that I have given you about myself??

I know I’ve written a lot of information. I just feel like the academic advisors at these specific schools are biased and I would love an unbiased point of view Also, let me add this one last thing as a sidenote, I used to work with therapists as the case worker for sexually abused children. Our agency worked alongside the police department, sheriff’s department, district attorney’s office, etc., etc. This is when I really became involved in computer forensics, because I would love to know how to go into a suspect’s computer and recover lost data that they think they erased (i.e. a pedophile with child pornography) and that is what the degree should provide for me. And as I said earlier, I would also like to know how to actually program applications or software on the computer that can be used in that field or even in other unrelated fields. Please help…I am trying to make a decision by the end of the year with hopes of starting school in early 2010. I know I’ve said a lot and have written a book but this is actually the narrowed down version since I first started this process….

Thank you for your input…"

Technorati Tags: 6 years, academic advisors, aiu, computer forensics, computer programming courses, computer programming software, graduate level, graduate school of management, information security, information systems management, itt tech, keller graduate school, keller graduate school of management, master of information technology, master of science, oral roberts university, school of management, software engineering, university of phoenix, virginia college

I have spent the last 16 years in nursing. ( I originally went into nursing because I was unemployed and nobody would give me a job and I created a new career as a nurse for myself).

I have hated nursing, but have stuck with it because I have had two children to provide for and my wife has always worked part time. Now I have had enough.

I have lost my job as a nurse because I have fallen out with my employers. Because of something they have done – not me.

I don’t want to spend a single second working as a nurse again. I have worked in all kinds of nursing jobs. Medical wards, surgical wards, A &E, clinics , agency and bank etc

Now I feel like I am on the scrapheap at 38. I have just started to sign on and claim benefits but I just want to be happy and to have a happy job and career.

I have always wanted to write and that has always been my dream and I really hope to do that one day but it won’t pay the bills yet ! But I feel it is what I was born to do.

I do read the tarot cards and am thinking of trying my luck at doing it full time ( as a business) but don’t know if I can make enough money by doing that ? I do enjoy it. And I have made small amounts of money online by helping people with my readings.

I wouldn’t mind becoming a photographer but that seems a long way off and there doesn’t seem much chance of that making money. Considering I can’t even afford a flippin camera !
I wouldn’t mind becoming a freelance journalist for local papers but I’m not sure how I can go about getting stories and I have no journalism degrees etc.

Most of the jobs in the job centre are really poor pay compared to nursing and I am scared to death of being on the dole forever.

I am feeling pretty low one minute and optimistic the next.

I can’t affird to do any big courses to retrain. I have debts ( about £ 7000 ) and a degree is out of the question.

One option is just to spend the rest of my life being a journey man and doing different jobs for the rest of my life, no matter how crappy they sound. That way I will get lots of new skills and even variety. Maybe I would even find a job I like. I have worked as a nurse for so long , I really have no experience in doing anything else.

Please please if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Its christmas and I feel like my life has sunk like the titanic and at 38 I am not a young man or an old man.

Please help,

Paul

A brief background ( incase you are still reading)

I was bullied psychologically and physically at school from the age of 7 -15. I recieved no help or counselling and as a result I failed all my exams. Not for want of trying. I went to college and passed all the exams over 2 years and was all set for a career in law. Passed to Alevels and then met a girl. Got engaged and her family persuaded me to pack it in and get a job in a camping shop, which I hated. ( I was foolish, I should have told them to mind their own business. But foolishly I listened)

Then she lreft me for another guy and over the next months I lost my job, spent a while on the dole and then worked my way up in nursing.

And here I am all these years later.

I am sorry this question is so long and I really appreciate your time in reading it. But I just need some help and advice. I want to build my life up again.

Paul
I have also been think of perhaps training somehow to be a counseller, that way I can do something positive to help other people. Instead of looking back at my childhood in anger. Not sure if this is easy though.

Technorati Tags: amp, becoming a freelance journalist, becoming a photographer, debts, dole, enough money, full time, job centre, journalism degrees, journey man, local papers, making money, medical wards, nurse, nursing jobs, part time, rest of my life, scrapheap, surgical wards, tarot cards

I have spent the last 16 years in nursing. ( I originally went into nursing because I was unemployed and nobody would give me a job and I created a new career as a nurse for myself).

I have hated nursing, but have stuck with it because I have had two children to provide for and my wife has always worked part time. Now I have had enough.

I have lost my job as a nurse because I have fallen out with my employers. Because of something they have done – not me.

I don’t want to spend a single second working as a nurse again. I have worked in all kinds of nursing jobs. Medical wards, surgical wards, A &E, clinics , agency and bank etc

Now I feel like I am on the scrapheap at 38. I have just started to sign on and claim benefits but I just want to be happy and to have a happy job and career.

I have always wanted to write and that has always been my dream and I really hope to do that one day but it won’t pay the bills yet ! But I feel it is what I was born to do.

I do read the tarot cards and am thinking of trying my luck at doing it full time ( as a business) but don’t know if I can make enough money by doing that ? I do enjoy it. And I have made small amounts of money online by helping people with my readings.

I wouldn’t mind becoming a photographer but that seems a long way off and there doesn’t seem much chance of that making money. Considering I can’t even afford a flippin camera !
I wouldn’t mind becoming a freelance journalist for local papers but I’m not sure how I can go about getting stories and I have no journalism degrees etc.

Most of the jobs in the job centre are really poor pay compared to nursing and I am scared to death of being on the dole forever.

I am feeling pretty low one minute and optimistic the next.

I can’t affird to do any big courses to retrain. I have debts ( about £ 7000 ) and a degree is out of the question.

One option is just to spend the rest of my life being a journey man and doing different jobs for the rest of my life, no matter how crappy they sound. That way I will get lots of new skills and even variety. Maybe I would even find a job I like. I have worked as a nurse for so long , I really have no experience in doing anything else.

Please please if anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. Its christmas and I feel like my life has sunk like the titanic and at 38 I am not a young man or an old man.

Please help,

Paul

A brief background ( incase you are still reading)

I was bullied psychologically and physically at school from the age of 7 -15. I recieved no help or counselling and as a result I failed all my exams. Not for want of trying. I went to college and passed all the exams over 2 years and was all set for a career in law. Passed to Alevels and then met a girl. Got engaged and her family persuaded me to pack it in and get a job in a camping shop, which I hated. ( I was foolish, I should have told them to mind their own business. But foolishly I listened)

Then she lreft me for another guy and over the next months I lost my job, spent a while on the dole and then worked my way up in nursing.

And here I am all these years later.

I am sorry this question is so long and I really appreciate your time in reading it. But I just need some help and advice. I want to build my life up again.

Paul
I have also been think of perhaps training somehow to be a counseller, that way I can do something positive to help other people. Instead of looking back at my childhood in anger. Not sure if this is easy though.

Technorati Tags: amp, becoming a freelance journalist, becoming a photographer, debts, dole, enough money, full time, job centre, journalism degrees, journey man, local papers, making money, medical wards, nurse, nursing jobs, part time, rest of my life, scrapheap, surgical wards, tarot cards

I’ve been married for 8 yrs. Have a 4 yr old. Throughout the years, my husband cheated on me (not in the act) 3 times. 1st I caught him on "Married buy looking" chat room, 2nd I caught him on his cellphone bills talking to some girl in TX. 3rd, I saw he sent his picture to some girl on his cellphone…those were the onle ones I caught… and the rest, who knows exactly how many times he cheated on me. We went to Marriage Counseling after all the his cheating, it went great! I had forgiven him and we both promised to changed and love each other. But after all that, I recently caught him and saw he sent a pic to some girl on his cellphone. I have suffered and been through a lot with him…I forgave and forget everything for the sake of our marriage and for our son. And because I believe in the concept of Marriage, I stayed with him and never divorce him even after he cheated on me several times..

The new problem began when I moved back to my hometown to finish Registered Nursing school. He stayed behind because he cannot leave his job. So, one time I saw an Online Dating Website. I got curious and signed-in (I know that was stupid of me!) Although I knew it was totally wrong and inappropriate I still went ahead and continue to exchange emails and pictures with other male members. And while I was doing that, I felt like I have completely forgotten all the bad things my husband did to me. I felt happy because once in my life, I felt like I was able to do some type of a revenge. I have met couple of the male members but nothin serious ever happened. They became my friends and I felt happy again…I felt good about myself again…my self-esteem is now back again.. I feel attractive, sexy, and wanted again!! And yes, it feels good!

One day, he got hold of my cellphone and caught me! He found all the numbers, emails, texts, and pictures I sent to those guys. He got upset and threatened me of divorce. We still currently away from each other because I’m still in school. We just talked everything over the phone. He is now telling me that he’s over me and he doesn’t want to be a part of my life anymore. But we’re still married, so far no divorce yet. He still said, he loves me and my son but he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

Right now, I want to know how can I win his heart again? How can I show him that it will never happen again? How can I regain his trust again? I want "US" to strat from the scratch again but he doesn’t want to. I need help!!! I love my husband so much and we’ve been through a lot all these years and I will not let anything happen to our marriage. My son is of course our priority and that is why we’re still together and trying our best to be great parents. But after what happened, I don’t know for sure what my husband is thinking right now. I love him and I know I hurt his feelings, but he needs to know that I was also in his situation before when he cheated on me, he cheated on me 3X.. But I was able to forgive and forget all his cheating ways after several yrs. I feel so bad for what I did and I blamed myself for everything… but he was the first one who commited adultery in our marriage. What do I need to do?? I love him so much but now everytime I say I love him, he tells me not to say it anymore. He also broke his wedding ring and no longer wear it. God knows how much I care about our marriage and I take full responsible for what I’ve done. But I want to know what is the best thing for me to do right now… tomorrow is out 9th yr. anniversary. HELP PLS!!! Thank you for taking time to read this question… I appreciate all your understanding.

Technorati Tags: act 3, chat room, exchange emails, hometown, job, male members, marriage, marriage counseling, nursing school, revenge, sake, self esteem, several times, texts, those guys

About 3 years ago I started a new profession and became acquainted with a coworker. We developed a friendship. We would have lunch on the weekends, meet up and go shopping things like that. Talked on the phone about two or three times a week. We talked about our relationships, she had a boyfriend i am married. In the last 3 years, she started working some where else and just this last summer I’ve moved to another state. But we still contact each other.
Well in july her boyfriend up and broke up with her and moved away. She was devastated since they, well she, was expecting him to propose soon. I was there for her, she called me maybe 6 or 7 times a day. Sometime crying or drunk, but i’ve been through a break up like that so I tried to comfort her. Well here it is almost 5 months later and she is still going through it. I’ve suggested counseling even invited her to my church back home because I felt that’s what she needed. My husband even set her up with one of his friends. But this guy was only good enough when she was lonely. But he has since moved on because she called and texted him all day.
My problem is she calls me 4 and 5 times a day and gets mad if I don’t answer. When we do talk, it’s always about her and her ex or some random guy. Sometimes I text her just cause i know she’s lonely. But as soon as I do she calls instead of texting back. Or if I update my facebook or myspace status, within 10 mins she calls.She says " I see you are online, so you must be up or have nothing to do". I have two small children and a husband so my time is pretty much taken up. I get off work at 4pm, but when I get home I see she has called at 3:30 or at 4:15. And when i do get home I have to cook dinner, help with homework, but she calls as soon as I walk through the door. Things like that. Sometimes I feel like I’m dating her.lol… I don’t know what to do. When has a friendship run its course? I’m not the kind of person to turn my back on someone, but she needs help and I’m not sure I have the means or energy to deal with her. I’ve tried to be subtle about it, but she’s not getting it. I don’t want to be rude and say don’t call me as much or whatever, cause that’s the same things her ex’s are telling her and the new guys she tries to date obviously are feeling the same way. What would a true friend do?
We both are in education. I was wondering how she calls so much and do her job. Well she called the other day upset cause her boss is putting her on an improvement plan. that was probably my chance to say something…

Technorati Tags: 10 mins, 3 years, 4pm, 5 months, amp, coworker, facebook, friendship, help with homework, lunch, profession, quot, random guy, relationships, shopping, three times

Educational CDs to teach your children in Audio and Slide Shows format ?
Medical Support via CD ?

Counselling ?

Ayurvedic / Herbal medicine ?

Home based Diploma Courses ?

What whould you order online / by post ???

Technorati Tags: diploma courses, educational cds, herbal medicine, medical support, medicine

I am considering enrolling in an online course in Master’s of Education with a specialization in Guidance Counseling. I do not want to be a teacher. I want to work in administration in a Community College or Junior College. The program says that it prepares me to work in a PK-12 setting. Does that mean that this degree will not be attractive to employers at a Community College? Should I be looking at programs that specialize in Adult Learning/ Education? I haven’t seen too many programs for Adult Learning, and it seems like a Master’s in Education is usually for PK-12… I just don’t want to take the course and then have no one want to hire me in a community college because they prefer some other kind of degree.

Technorati Tags: adult, guidance counseling, learning education, specialization

I love my husband but I am unhappy with the way things are right now. We’re come from different cultures and backgrounds. We have a 3 yr old son and a baby on the way. I don’t want to start a fight by letting him know I am unhappy. I wish i could go to marriage counseling but i think he would get mad and I know he wouldn’t attend. He is very overweight, all we eat is junk food because that’s all he wants to eat. I try to at least feed myself and my son healthy things. If we don’t have that he won’t eat anything else and he gets mad at me. He is in the military and he is always hurting and tired and sore. I try to tell him that vitamins and vegetables can help, because they give you body the minerals and things it needs, its a basic fact. But he won’t listen. I want to take online college courses and he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I wanted to start exercising before i found out i was pregnant and he said I didn’t need to that i look fine. I understand that was kinda his way of telling me he like me the way I am but I need motivation and support in my life or I become a lazy depressed bum. He joined the army to be more disciplined, and make a better income for our family. It has given us the opportunity to be together in a place of our own, but when he comes home very tired from work all he wants to do i play video games. I know that grass is always greener on the other side but i see so many husbands who take care of themselves, cook once and a while and spend quality time with their family’s too. My husband doesn’t drink or smoke, and he is not abusive. He rarely voices his feelings and when i ask him what are we going to do with our lives he says he wants to take it one day at a time. I am the opposite i want to succeed and i want to have a plan and find a house we both like etc. So what I am trying to say is how to I bring it up that I am unhappy with our lives? I love him and I don’t want to start a fight or make it seem like I am nagging. Help Pls.
My husband will also not join me and my son if I ask him to come to the playground with us. He like to live in a "cave". Shuts the blinds and turns the lights out. And I like to leave all the window’s open. Also I am afraid because winter is coming, I have no car ( we got rid of it to save money) and my son is at home with me(can’t go to daycare due to being caught up on immunizations). We live on an army base.
One more thing sorry, What if he doesn’t listen and doesn’t want to change. I can’t live like this forever. Does that mean I we shouldn’t be together?

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I am in 8th grade. Next year I will be taking
Geometry
Algebra 2
AP Human Geography and world civ.
English Honors
Biology
Sewing 2
Seminary
PE
Orchestra

Would you change anything in my schedule? Also what are some classes I should take in High school (I live in Utah 9th grade is jr.high). This is the High school course description.

http://www.timpanogos.alpinedistrict.org/COUNSELING/pdfs/Course%20Descriptions%2009-10%20for%20word.pdf

I also finishing French 2 this year and am going to try to take it online or at the college by my house.

Thanks
Sewing is only a half year class and I have had a 4.0 or all A’s all my life

Technorati Tags: algebra 2, biology, counseling, course description, english honors, geometry, half year, human geography, seminary, sewing, timpanogos, world civ

Originally published 04:45 a.m., October 18, 2009, updated 12:55 p.m., October 18, 2009

Workplace Porn Wastes Time, Cash

Cheryl Wetzstein

First of two parts

On Sept. 29, my Washington Times colleague Jim McElhatton led the paper with a story about National Science Foundation (NSF) employees accessing pornography at their work computers.

The porn problem was pervasive enough to trigger a massive internal investigation. One senior NSF executive, for instance, had "spent at least 331 days looking at pornography on his government computer and chatting online with nude or partially clad women, without being detected," Mr. McElhatton reported, based on records obtained through the Freedom of Information Act.

The NSF executive retired once his pornography use was exposed, but investigators estimated that he alone wasted between ,800 and ,000 of taxpayer monies.

No one should imagine that the NSF scandal is isolated or rare. Workplace pornography is a major problem, according to the American Management Association (AMA).

Employers are fighting back with anti-porn filters on computers; as of 2007, about two-thirds of U.S. companies used such software, the AMA said. But there are still ways to evade the filters, and inexplicably, many employees seem determined to access porn at work, even if it costs them their jobs.

Listen to these comments, gathered by Idaho Post-Register reporter Corey Taule in an award-winning 2007 article on pornography.

Mark J. Holubar, a human resources executive, told Mr. Taule that his company is clear about its no-porn-at-work policy, but he still had an employee confess to him: "Yeah, I know I did it. I know it was wrong. I don’t know why, I was just doing it."

And Gordon Boyle, a pastor at Calvary Chapel Church in Idaho Falls, Idaho, who counsels men for sex addiction, said it was "so bizarre" that employees would look at porn even when they knew they were being monitored. "I don’t think we understand the grip or the pull [of pornography]," Mr. Boyle told Mr. Taule.

That, I think, is the big question: What makes presumably well-educated, well-paid professionals risk everything they worked for just for another look?

The answer is simple — sex addiction, says Michael Leahy, author of the new book "Porn @ Work: Exposing The Office’s #1 Addiction."

Mr. Leahy, a recovering sex addict, believes he was one of the first people to get involved with workplace porn. As an IBM computer specialist in the early 1980s, he and colleagues used porn at work years before online pornography and personal computers entered American homes. Later, as an executive with a private office and top-of-the-line computers, Mr. Leahy found even more ways to spend hours engrossed in porn.

"I was that person who is every line manager’s and HR professional’s worst nightmare — the sex addict at work who flew under the radar for years and never got caught," Mr. Leahy wrote.

How does porn interfere with work? Initially, it just consumes countless hours (viewing images, concealing images, plus regular trips to private places to masturbate).

As the compulsive behaviors grow, porn-related rituals detract from work performance, Mr. Leahy wrote. A person preoccupied with porn, for instance, will miss meetings, fail to make calls or leave projects unfinished. They may seem to undergo a personality change, becoming easily irritated, unreasonably defensive or socially withdrawn.

It’s not uncommon for sex addicts to lose their spouses or their jobs, Mr. Leahy wrote. They also are prone to acting out sexually, exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy, or legal problems "ranging from nuisance offenses to rape," Mr. Leahy wrote. Business managers, he added, are particularly alarmed by sexual harassment or hostile workplace lawsuits filed over employees’ bad behavior.

Mr. Leahy has some solutions to offer, but first he wants to sound the alarm about college students.

Their college experiences are in a pornography-friendly subculture, he told me. "But the key is, when they have to stop — when they are made to stop — what will they do?"

Next week: Collision course.

• Send e-mail to cwetzstein@washingtontimes.com.

http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/oct/18/wetzstein-workplace-porn-wastes-time-cash/?feat=home_columns&

Technorati Tags: american management association, boyle, calvary chapel church, cheryl wetzstein, colleague, freedom of information, freedom of information act, government computer, human resources executive, internal investigation, national science foundation, porn filters, porn problem, pornography, sex addiction, taule, taxpayer monies, time cash, washington times, work computers

I will ultimately make my own decision, but would love some advice from people who may (or may not) have been in similar situations.

Here goes…

Almost two years ago I got married. Ten months into our marriage (and while I was 5 month pregnant) I found out that he was cheating. He was a member of a sex/hook-up website, and would post and answer postings on craigs list. None of the encounters were relationship-like, they were pre-meditated one-night stands. I am 30, slim, and considered extremely attractive. These women were age 35 – 55, overweight, and most hagared-looking (not to be mean, just trying to lay the facts out.) He travels with work, so would set up these encounters while he was in various other cities. When I discovered this, he turned over passwords, so that I could access the various online accounts and read e-mails, etc. Between that exploration and discssions with him, he admitted to 5 physical affairs over the course of the previous 7 months (3 months after our marriage) and multiple online-only/chat/dirty talk encounters. It later came out that this type of risky behavior had been going on for about the last 5 years, stopped briefly during our courting and early marriage, and then began again. Because of my values/Christian beliefs about the sanctity of marriage, and importance of forgiveness, AND the fact that I was pregnant and did not want this poor child to come from a divorced home, we went to counseling and tried to make things work. (Thankfully, we were disease free, also.) In counseling, it came to light that he has a sex addiction, and a self-esteem/body image problem (he used to be vary large, and now works very hard to keep a very fit physique.) He comes from a great family, and his parents are still happily married. He was not sexually abused as a child. And as far as the body-image issue, that is all in his head. I do not care if he does put on some lbs., and have told him that. I actually hate that he is so obsessed with his body.
The relationship has not been easy since then, but I can honestly say that I have tried to make the best of things.
Now, here we are, one year after I found out about the first set of affairs, and he has had another one.
What I know so far: In January he set up another fake e-mail account and has been cruising the personals sections of craigs list and something called backpage. In May, he joined a website that would allow him to meet transexuals (men who dress up as women.) In June he had an encounter with a female prostitute. When I discovered that he had been cheating, he once again immediately gave me the accounts and passwords, so I have copies of the correspondences. It looks to be true, that he only had the one physical affair, but has corresponded with several. But, the types of people are discusting. He has e-mails to and from married couples, where the husband wants to watch the wife with another man; and e-mails where he is attempting to negotiate with transexuals on prices, and talks about the size of their nether-regions. There are also photos of large-size women naked.
He claims that he has never been with a man, and never wants to, he is just curious about those types of people.
He has cried, and apologized, and begged for me to stay with him. He says he has a problem and wants help. He says he wants to be normal, and wants to get better for me and for our son.

I know that most of you are going to say that I am crazy for even considering to stay. I know I would say that to someone else! But, once you are in the situation it is different. I do not want my son to grow up in a divorced household! Plus, and am now 30, and want more children – there is the whole biological clock thing… But, I also do not want my son to grow up with a father that has these discusting habits.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Should I stay, because there is a chance that he could get better? Or should I leave before things get worse?
To address how I feel about sex. Before all this, I had a healthy outlook on sex, and a great appetite. Willing to try things and have fun, etc (nothing crazy like group sex or anal.) Now, I do not know, he disgusts me. I do still crave healthy, normal sex, but I do not want to touch him.

Technorati Tags: 7 months, body image, christian beliefs, counseling, dirty talk, early marriage, hook up, image issue, image problem, importance of forgiveness, marriage, parents, passwords, physique, postings, relationship, risky behavior, sanctity of marriage, self esteem, sex addiction

Now, This is going to be a little bit of a long story, so those who do not wish to read the whole situation, please don’t respond. Otherwise all answers are appreciated mostly out of sheer curiousty.

I have been with my current girlfriend/fiancee for 4 years 7 months and 5 days. Yes I do know that as odd as it is. Now here is where everything turns interesting.

The relationship started out as just an online sort of getting to know each other, then cybering, when I was in college. It was fun and interesting for a while. Then I decided to go on a vacation and moved from Michigan to Arizona for a 3 week vacation. When it was over I returned to Michigan. While in arizona 0 was stolen out of my pocket and i had a remaining .00 which i spent on a phonecard to call and talk to the woman from online. After returning to Michigan I had 10 days at a friends house. The woman that I was talking to I continued to speak with, it was the middle of the winter and she said that she was coming to pick me up so that i wouldn’t be on the streets. So she did, through blizzard and ice and snow she got me and brought me to Illinois. We started dating on day 3, which is also the day when we began becoming more, intimate. About a month later I went to visit my biological mother, (yes i’m adopted) because she was die’ing. My brother was there at the time as well. My gf of a month wanted to have a threesome with my brother and myself, so I replied with these exact words, "you want to act like a whore then sure i’ll treat you like one. We had the threesome and i planned on leaving her. Obviously that didn’t happen. Which is when for the most part I gave up on trusting women to any extent what-so-ever. She claimed that what she did she knew was wrong and was, clearly sorry for it. About another year went buy and she began having internet sex relations with other guys, which again I told her pissed me off. I don’t know why or how it happened… but for some reason after she cried for hours on end… I asked her to marry me… (wtf is going on in my head with that one lol). She was a very attractive woman that i enjoyed being with. the Sex was great, all of the crazy and wild things we did, her personality was great, she was a georgia girl(knew more about cars and fixing them then i did, and more about football which was rare). Well about a year into our relationship, she got her. At work she broke her back, rupturing her disc and breaking 2 of her vertabrea’s. I spent the majority of my time, either working or taking care of her. 3.5 years later she still doesn’t work, and doesn’t do much around the house. We have sex maybe once a week. She spends the majority of her time playing a MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game) called Dark Age of Camelot. That’s what she’s been doing for about the past 2 years. How I managed to convince myself to stay with her i’m unsure. I have never once cheated on my gf/fiancee, though she says that i have every right to sleep with any woman i want or leave her whenever i’m not happy. Of course i’m not happy. It’s difficult to smile most days. I typically just go through it like a zombie ignore’ing most people around me, (and i’m a carsalesman, Not sure how it works out but it does.) I’ve gotten to the point now where I’m pretty much emotionless. Yet for some reason or another I find it very easy and some what comforting to counsel people relationships online, even though i’m living a very, very, messed up relationship myself. I’m not really sure what i’m asking in this specifically, but i felt like getting this into the open and writing this all down, so that I could get responses from people. I’m curious to know what you all think of this relationship, In your opinions what i should do, why you think i should do what you think i should do, and what your opinions are as far as me making the decisions that i have made so far. I’m generally a very friendly, some what upbeat, comical individual, who is willing to put forth the effort to make his woman happy no matter what the circumstances are. I do things like work multiple jobs at one time, take out the trash, do the dishes, take care of our 2 dogs and close to 40 fish in multiple aquariums, help friends find jobs, and am currently trying to find a way to get back into school with the little time that i have. She spends literally on average 8+ hours a day on her video game, when i come home, she’s playing, i go to sleep before she does usually. I do the laundery, I run the errands, get birthday presents for her dad’s birthday, and do pretty much anything i can to make her life as easy as possible, and I recieve no appreciation for it, not even extra sex. This has become less than a relationship, it is a 1 way stepping stool. Either way, yes… that’s what i wanted to say in all. Any opinions would be interesting to read. i would be impressed if anybody actually reads through this entire *article* but yes… if you do i’d appreciate
by the way we are not married currently and i am 23 years old, where as she is 24 years old.
Also, i’m curious to know how many women are out there that would like to have a guy that does what i do. maybe it’ll help me sway my decision to stay with her and find somebody else that might appreciate what i do.
Ok i have to clarify a little bit. I live with her, though i now pay the rent, she lived there before i came into the picture, therefore i would be the one moving out, because i believe that would be right.

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