How do you handle a friend that calls too much?
About 3 years ago I started a new profession and became acquainted with a coworker. We developed a friendship. We would have lunch on the weekends, meet up and go shopping things like that. Talked on the phone about two or three times a week. We talked about our relationships, she had a boyfriend i am married. In the last 3 years, she started working some where else and just this last summer I’ve moved to another state. But we still contact each other.
Well in july her boyfriend up and broke up with her and moved away. She was devastated since they, well she, was expecting him to propose soon. I was there for her, she called me maybe 6 or 7 times a day. Sometime crying or drunk, but i’ve been through a break up like that so I tried to comfort her. Well here it is almost 5 months later and she is still going through it. I’ve suggested counseling even invited her to my church back home because I felt that’s what she needed. My husband even set her up with one of his friends. But this guy was only good enough when she was lonely. But he has since moved on because she called and texted him all day.
My problem is she calls me 4 and 5 times a day and gets mad if I don’t answer. When we do talk, it’s always about her and her ex or some random guy. Sometimes I text her just cause i know she’s lonely. But as soon as I do she calls instead of texting back. Or if I update my facebook or myspace status, within 10 mins she calls.She says " I see you are online, so you must be up or have nothing to do". I have two small children and a husband so my time is pretty much taken up. I get off work at 4pm, but when I get home I see she has called at 3:30 or at 4:15. And when i do get home I have to cook dinner, help with homework, but she calls as soon as I walk through the door. Things like that. Sometimes I feel like I’m dating her.lol… I don’t know what to do. When has a friendship run its course? I’m not the kind of person to turn my back on someone, but she needs help and I’m not sure I have the means or energy to deal with her. I’ve tried to be subtle about it, but she’s not getting it. I don’t want to be rude and say don’t call me as much or whatever, cause that’s the same things her ex’s are telling her and the new guys she tries to date obviously are feeling the same way. What would a true friend do?
We both are in education. I was wondering how she calls so much and do her job. Well she called the other day upset cause her boss is putting her on an improvement plan. that was probably my chance to say something…
