So the story goes like this: I dated this Muslim guy for a few months from march this year and he left after to go on a business trip. That trip was supposed to be for 3 months but it turned into 6 months and he told me during that time that he was going for an arranged marriage. Of course I was hurt when I heard the news and my feelings were still there for him, like in all that time that he was absent. It took time to let go and still be his friend chatting on the phone weekly (while he was out there – avoiding the arranged marriage talk etc). Everything still felt good with him, and i still saw him like a soul mate. But I came to know in October last month that he lied to me about stuff. I did something behind his back to find out these lies and I had to do it. He told me never to speak to any of his friends or family early in our relationship (and he never even introduced me to any family, just kept me distant and on the quiet. I believed he did that cos he’s family was strict but anyway I did something. I became a ‘fake’ or ‘stranger’ who became friends with this ‘J’ – his brother, on an online social site i.e. myspace. I made up a whole identity on this social site just to talk with J (and I knew this was his brother because my ex had already pointed him out to me as well as other siblings etc long ago) but yea I talked with J to find out stuff that I was longing to know. I found out that this ex of mine didn’t go on any business trip; instead he moved out of london with his wife and 2 kids of 1 and 4 yrs old. I found out also that he lied about his age also. this ex of mine said he was 27 (which is a bit older then me) but as ive come to know… he’s actually 35yr old. Anyway in all that time calling me on private no. he made out like he was out there in india doing business and preparing for his enagement etc. just wanted to further away from me as you can see.
and in was in shock was when i learnt all this. everything made sense, the things i’d seen, knew – just came together with all that info.
Anyway, about 3-4 weeks ago I actually spoke to his brother J on the phone, for the first time with my new identity (and with my real voice) and with an old number of mine. He was asking for me to meet and to continue our chats even on families, seeing as that was my favourite topic! =) (well it had to be in that case; with me asking all the questions I did about his family). I was like I don’t know when we;ll meet, we’ll see.
So after learning the truth about my ex, I wrote an email to him – my ex (as me of course) I wrote a calm and straight to the point email, making it serious too and sent it to all 5 email accounts that he has. I said of how I know everything about his life, of how i know all this through my friend being friends with brother J (through the identity i made up). basically i nailed all the points and pieces of info I knew about him, from his wife to kids etc. shocker email.
I even stated to him how he just used me that whole time and how he might not be happy with his wife and sex life, so had girls like me in his life (including his previous ex’s) for fun and sex.
Anyway, I haven’t heard anything from him/my ex, after sending that email. There’s been no more phone calls like before (maybe he feels scared to talk with me) I’d like have an apology or at least would like TO DO something more that will shock ;d and scare.
and by the way I have time and energy to waste here and i do want to continue to do damage till I get that apology (even though I’ve pretty much said bye in the email!) i want him to come forward and confess everything.
I could leave all this but I have an opportunity to continue here using his bro
What more can i do? What else? this ex needs something more, i want the shit to be deeper then it is.
i did get hurt over knowing about him but i feel so determined TO DO something.