(ok this is really long I apologize)
basically he broke up with me about 3 months ago after a 2 year relationship. He was very clingy to me during those 2 years and I was a bit cool to it because I take a lot of time to warm up. I was going through a very stressful period learning I had a chronic disease and he was always there for me. But eventually my stress got to him because I would constantly complain about my life and circumstances and not be there for him as much as I should have been.
In a lot of ways I took the relationship for granted. He would constantly text me and send me pictures of himself to be cute and I am ashamed of it but I didn’t really care at the time. In fact the clingyness was such a turn off that I lost sexual interest in him. Now that we are broken up I appreciate all these things and wish I could go back and respond more like a good girlfriend to them. I always seem to not be emotionally into relationships until they are over.
Anyways, he broke up with me 3 months ago, mainly because he said I didn’t love him enough and loved him less than I loved my exes (because of the same pattern of behavior where I love an ex more than a current bf). I told him it would be hard to talk so we made plans to give me my keys back. He came to give me my keys and started crying saying he “felt this is what [I] wanted.” He wanted to talk more but my Mom was in town visiting so I couldn’t talk. A few days later I got a job offer and he found out through a friend and texted me to congratulate me but also put in the text that he loved me. About a month after the breakup we talked on the phone and he told me he loved me and thought about me a lot and that we should hang out sometime.
A couple weeks later we hung out and he again said he missed me. I said I didn’t know what to say to that because “you broke up with me.” A few minutes later he started hugging me and cuddling. We made out a little bit then I didn’t hear from him for a week. So I called him and we hung out again. This time he was more distant and I felt something was up. About 2 weeks later I found out he started talking to someone online from his hometown. They have been talking now for 5 weeks, which is why he has kind of stopped telling me he misses me and loves me. The other person actually flew in to visit him after only about 3 weeks of talking. But I’m not quite sure they have any plans to make a relationship work as my ex is stuck in this city for the next 2 years for school and the other person is stuck 1,000 miles away indefinitely.
This seems to remind me of how we started talking, our relationship was long distance at first. So it could work, who knows. At any rate I am hurt that since the breakup, he had made so many attempts to contact me and then abruptly stopped and started seeing someone so quickly. After we stopped seeing each other I did some self-reflection and realized that I really wanted to be back in the relationship. But now the ex is seeing someone online so he really shows almost no interest. It’s like night and day. Should I basically give up or just wait and see if they break up?
I don’t want to get further hurt in this, I was fine after the breakup, but now almost 3 months later, the breakup has finally hit me and I’ve been a trainwreck for a week now. Finding out about the new online romance is also not helping at all. But at the end of the day I realize this was probably the most loving relationship I ever had.
I confessed my feelings to him and he told me he needs time. I kind of pressed him for an answer and he couldn’t give me one. He basically said he wouldn’t get back together with me now because his guard would be way up. But he didn’t rule it out entirely. He said he never says never.
He was so into me and he seemed to regret the breakup afterwards, so I think his whole moving on is all about him meeting this new person online.
I just don’t know what to do (help please)!
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